Friday, January 21, 2005

BIG MAN




Occasionally, the stories will be really short. Like this one, for instance.

This one just involves me by myself.

This is back when I was still parking on the Chick-Fil-A side of the mall to go to work. I had just gotten off, and it was like, mid-afternoon, I don't know. I was heading back to my car, and this big guy (I mean bouncer big) sort of sides up to me as I'm walking through the parking lot, and he goes, "'Sup, Red?"

By the way, he's like 30-something.

I sort of laugh and look at him out of the corner of my eye, kind of like Ryan on The O.C., and keep walking. He stops, expecting me to do the same, and when I keep going, he's like, "What, you ain't gonna stick around and talk to me?" And I was like, "No, sorry," and I got in my car and drove away.

Wow, there's my story. Kind of short, and disappointing, but it was all I could think of.

RED TRUCK MAN




This occurred at Tonsler Park in Charlottesville.

So my good buddy Spoony Spoonikus (who will henceforth be called Spoony for the sake of brevity) and I were out driving, looking for something fun to do. Fun things to do are hard to find if you live in Charlottesville and don't have more than $20 on you. So we were driving along, in the Kia, and I decided we should hit up Cherry Avenue to see what was going down over there.

I should mention that it's getting on towards dusk, and Cherry Avenue is not somewhere you should be if you are a white female teenager, whether it's day or night. So anyways, we were on the avenue of cherries, and we got to Tonsler park, where Spoony had never been before. This is because Spoony lives all the way out in Earlysville.

Tonsler Park is kind of creepy during the day, but at night, it's positively malignant. There are parts of the wooden playground that people can hide in. People, as in adults with bad intentions. Various items have been found there before, such as syringes, an empty bottle of Jack, and something that starts with a "C" and ends in "ondoms".

By now I think we've established that Tonsler Park is the safest place in town, so on with the story.

Spoony and I pulled into the parking lot, where we saw a guy in a red truck just sitting there, not doing anything. This guy was sketchy to the max, a real scoundrel. So of course, I parked right next to him. Don't ask me why I do stuff like this, but I'll never stop. It's completely intentional. Although I should probably be more careful when I have somebody else with me.

We got out of the car (locking the doors, of course, I always lock the doors) and headed for the playground area. There was approximately 1 hour of daylight left. I gave Spoony the grand tour of the wooden structure, a well-built play area. It has fun stuff to do, like the bouncy bridge and the spot where you can play the "ground is lava" game. We checked it all out, including the spooky wooden caves where the crazy heroin addicts like to be. None in the house that night, luckily. After revisiting our childhood for a few minutes playing around on the structures, we made our way over to the swings, where we...swung. Spoony got a call on her cell phone from her mom, and I can't remember what exactly was said, but I do remember that her mom said that it would be our own fault if we got raped. Hilarious.

The phone call ended, and we got bored with the swings, so we decided to leave. Heading back to the car, we noticed that the red truck had its motor on, and the guy inside was staring at us. Spoony and I were all, "Oh my gosh, ew! He's so sketch!" You have to understand, this guy must have been in his early 40's. And he was a total redneck, and he looked dirty. As in, doesn't believe in hygene. As we approached the Kia, he rolled down his window, and by this time Spoony was freaking out. She was like, "Anna, unlock the doors, quick!!!" So I was unlocking the doors, probably taking more time than I should have, and the guy leaned out his window and said hi. I said hi back, kind of laughing, and Spoony and I got in the car, and Spoony locked the doors. I looked over to see the guy motioning for me to roll down my window.

So I did. Spoony was about to have a heart attack, and I was getting that little rush of adrenaline, like a combination of scared and euphoric. It's weird, maybe I'm the only one that gets like that. So anyways, I rolled down my window, and he looked in at me and Spoony, and said, "Y'all girls lookin' for a good time?"

I'm not joking. That's what he said. Spoony immediately shrieked, "EW!" and I was like, "No." So I rolled up my window and we pretty much tore out of that parking lot, because it sure looked like he was planning on following us. He didn't, but every now and then we'd look behind us just to make sure.

The night was still young, and there were a few more minutes of daylight left, so we decided to hit up the nearby graveyard. This was simply because we'd never been to it before. So we drove through the graveyard, which was uneventful, and then on our way back to go home, (since we figured there wasn't anything else to do) we saw something else. While stopped at an intersection, some random guy was crossing the street in front of us, and he was holding a snake. A real, live, kind of big snake. It was weird, and just strengthened our resolve to stay away from Cherry Avenue from then on.

There's the story. That's not the last you'll be hearing of Spoony, because it seems like everywhere I go with her, we get into a sketchy situation. But I think the Red Truck Man story was the sketchiest so far.