Tuesday, February 8, 2005

MY HORRIBLE WONDERFUL DAY




The day started out bad and went downhill fast. I will say this, though--It was a beautiful, warm, pleasant day (nature-wise).


First of all, I had to get up earlier than usual, a bad thing in and of itself, because I'm definitely not a morning person. So I got up, at like 6:40, and went to take my shower. The towel closet was empty, so I had to use what was at the bottom: a very thin, old, not too absorbent towel. Then, when I went to get in the shower, the water was way too hot, so I turned it down a little to preserve it, because the hot water runs out fast in our bathroom. I got in the shower, and five minutes later, the hot water runs out, despite my preservation efforts.

I finish getting ready, then go to the orthodontist appointment I had gotten up early for. They adjust my braces, and I leave with a sore mouth. On the way down 250 South, on my way to get onto 64 so I could go to school, I get pulled over and given a speeding ticket for going 71 m.p.h. for about five seconds in a 55 m.p.h. zone. Did you get all that?

So I'm miserable by now, trying not to cry because it's a stupid thing to do over a speeding ticket, even though I can't afford my insurance as it is, and I decide, "You know what? I don't want to have a lousy day, I want to have a good day." so I force myself to fake a smile, thinking it would help lift my mood, and I also made myself sing along to the music I had playing. It worked, and by the time I got to school, I felt a lot better. Still not 100%, but better.

I go to first period, where I get heckled by people who don't know what they're doing but think they do, and then went on to English after getting chicken balls with Cheddar from the cafeteria. I say chicken balls, but really it was popcorn chicken. I just like chicken balls better, because it brings up some great visuals. Anyways, while I was in English class, I got called down to the office. Apparently, Mrs. Loser wrote me up for skipping class on Wednesday. No word on whether she wrote me up for doing the same thing on Friday. So let's recap the bad stuff:
  1. Got up early
  2. Had to use a thin towel
  3. Shower went cold on me
  4. Went to the orthodontist
  5. Got a speeding ticket
  6. Got heckled by stupid Freshmen
  7. Got in-school suspension tomorrow for skipping Wednesday
After that, things started going better. I had a fairly pleasant drive home, and once there I chilled for a little while before I had to go to work. It did suck though, because I had to get a ride to work because Precious and my mom both had class tonight so they needed both cars. So Precious drove me to work, and I had a pretty good time. There was a manager from Short Pump subbing in because Paws wasn't coming until 5:00, and she was cool. Her name was Shorty. Lin Lin was there for a second, too. Shorty told me a funny story about Food Box that made me laugh. Oh yeah, and Sonichu came in and visited for a little bit, but I really didn't feel like having him there. I WAS nice, though. I was nice. So after he left, Shorty wanted to know what was up with him, so I told her, and showed her The Note.

One thing led to another and finally it was 5:00, time for Shorty to leave and Paws to arrive. I think today was like the most productive day I've ever had at work, because I juggled doing shipment with following the Pac 10, something I've always had trouble with. And there's another thing: I did actual work. Not the whole time, mind you; I mean, I worked while Shorty was there, but once Paws arrived, I finished the shipment and went back into slacker mode. I did still pay attention to the customers, though. I hope we got secret shopped.

So at one point, Paws let me go get food. I got a #1 with Dr. Pepper from Chick-Fil-A, and one of the guys behind the counter gave me a quarter because I only had a $5 bill and no change, and the total was $5.22. So I got my food and went back to work. I finished my Dr. Pepper and got a refill, and by the time I was halfway through with it, I was feeling the effects of the Caffeine on my system. It's never affected me that way before, but I got so weird! I couldn't stop moving, and I was bombarding Paws with disjointed mile-a-minute monologues that made both our heads spin. Precious came in an hour early to pick me up, and he had a bouquet of tulips for me from Mom and Dad, because they knew I was having a completely unlucky day. It was really sweet, but I was way too buzzed to fully appreciate it at the time. I do now, though. It's awesome.

So now, let's recap the good stuff:
  1. It was a beautiful day
  2. I sang along with Ashlee Simpson on a magical, musical joyfest journey of a lifetime
  3. I ate chicken balls
  4. I made a new friend (Shorty)
  5. I followed the Pac 10
  6. Somebody at Chick-Fil-A "spanged" me
  7. I ate a really, really good dinner
  8. I remembered Paws' exact coffee order (Tall nonfat light-whip decaf peppermint mocha)*(actually maybe it's not decaf, I can't remember now...dang it)
  9. I got a caffeine buzz
  10. I got TULIPS!
So after work, I went home, and I watched Spider-Man 2 with Rebecca Ann and now I'm typing this. So I would say, judging from how I feel right now (pretty dang good) and how the numbers of bad things that happened to me today compare to the numbers of good things (good wins), I had a pretty great day. It didn't start out too sharp, but it got better.

Oh yeah, and Paws half-mooned me. Add that to the top of the list of good things. Haha just kidding.

Saturday, February 5, 2005

DEATH ATTACK ON THE HOUSE




This only happens when I'm home alone, and when it's after nightfall. But it's happened multiple times! It's really scary.


So what happened this time is: I was home alone, and it was like 9:30pm, and my parents weren't getting home until like 10:30. I was doing something on the computer, and the dogs started barking ferociously at the front door. I got up in a hurry and grabbed the phone and went to "my spot"...it's this place in the hallway where you can't see any of the windows, and I go there whenever something freaky like this happens. So the dogs are barking madly at the front window, and I'm all crouched in the hallway clutching the phone, waiting for an axe murderer to bust down the door. And the dogs quiet down for a second, but I stay put, and it's a good thing, because a second later I hear footsteps on the front porch. The dogs go off barking again and I cower in the hallway with a blanket over me, as though it would protect me...

Okay let me interject here--I'm afraid of the dark. I have been since forever. It's something I don't think I'll ever grow out of...I won't even take the trash out after dark. Just to let you know. Back to the story, though.

So I hear the footsteps, and the dogs are barking, and then I hear a car pulling down the driveway into the back yard. I thought, oh good, Mom and Dad are home. So I creep into my room and peek out from a crack in my curtains, and IT'S NOT MOM AND DAD. It's some weird car with the lights off, and it pulls around back and a man gets out and walks around to the front of the house. I'm flipping out at this point, and I call Cheddar, and she's all, "it's okay, can you tell who it is? Should I call the police?" and stuff. I'm about to say something when somebody starts knocking on the door. Okay, there is NO WAY I was going to answer that. Plus, the porch light was off, so why would they think anybody was home???

So this was a really sketchy situation, and I was back in my spot in the hallway, and finally they left, whoever it was. I didn't leave my spot until Mom and Dad got home, though, and I made the dogs come sit with me. I never found out who it was.

THE LEMONADE WINDOW

This happened last night. Cheddar and I were heading home, and I had a refilled lemonade from Chick-Fil-A, and I was super full because I ate a big dinner, so I didn't want the lemonade. So we were walking past Pac Sun, and there was a trash can right outside the window on the right side, so I threw my cup into it. It would have been awesome, except it hit the stupid window first, and kind of exploded. So Cheddar and I busted out laughing, because to Cheddar it looked like I had just thrown my lemonade at the window, and I was laughing because I couldn't believe what had just happened. There were a couple guys sitting on the couch facing us, and they looked at me with disapproval and surprise. They couldn't believe what they had just seen. Especially since I was taking a picture of it with my camera phone. So I took the picture, and we left. That's how immature and irresponsible I am. However, I plan on cleaning it up, so there you go. I'll fix it...

(Update: I went to work the next morning and there was a custodian trying to clean it up, they gave up and I went out there and got it off with a razorblade. It was like ROCK!)


Ok, so here's the picture:


FACTORY FREAKS

I was going on one of my little Market Street expeditions, and Cheddar was with me. This was a few days after Killtower 2. We were checking out this side road, and there was a really steep road off to the right that we went up, because it lead to the abandoned factories. We turned down this hick little driveway, and followed it to the end, and as we drove down it, there were all these creepy people sitting in their yards and on their porches looking at us. There was one house that had a giant wooden Star of David leaning up against it. And the people glared and stared, and we left. The end.

THE CRAZY PACER


Okay, I've put this one off long enough. It's time for the story of all stories: The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer.

Once upon a time, there was a guy who paced in front of Abercrombie & Fitch. He'd come and do it for hours on end, just walking back and forth. He was an okay-looking guy, not evil-looking like Creepy Molester Dude. So he would pace for his allotted time, then leave. Sometimes as he paced, he would sing or shout. Nobody really could ever tell what he was saying. Oh yeah, and he always wore the same shirt, a nice little long-sleeved red and blue number that had a gold crest on the left side, and white collar and cuffs.

Eventually, I guess he got bored of just pacing like that, because he started to bring his Gameboy SP with him. He had his headphones hooked up to it. So he would pace like that, all the time. His peak hours were usually between 2:00 and 4:00, and he usually left by 5:00.

Then, one day he decided to start pacing on the Pac Sun side, so he started pacing in front of our store. I think the people at Abercrombie were relieved, because they were worried about the floor out front getting worn down.

So this one day, on the day it started (it will be explained in short order), we were doing floorset, and Lin Lin noticed that Crazy Pacer kept looking into Pac Sun as he paced, and she also noticed that he has a fair amount of junk in his trunk, if you know what I mean. And Star and I both noticed at the same time that his jeans were high-water. And we all laughed at him. Noooo, actually we were laughing with him, he just didn't know it, and he wasn't laughing along. And this day, he was acting particularly crazy. He'd pace and pace, then stop and shout something at the wall, then keep pacing. And he also did some singing, even getting into the vibrato falsetto junks, it was hilarious.

So anyways someone, I can't remember who, suggested that the next time he looked in, we wave at him. Whoever suggested it should die, unless it was me, in which case I feel I have recieved enough punishment.

Of course, he looked in, and we all waved at him. He looked kind of bewildered and sort of scared at first, but quickly caught on and waved back. Then he went back to his pacing, but he was looking in to Pac Sun with greater frequency now. And any time anyone would make eye contact with him, he'd wave.

I had to go get Star an iced tea from Sbarro's, so I left and waved at Pacer as I went out. When I came back, he was sitting cross-legged on the floor outside Pac Sun, and he took the initiative and waved at me first. I smiled and waved back, but the smile wasn't to be friendly, it was because I thought it was hilarious that he was sitting on the floor like that. Good thing he couldn't tell the difference.

So we went on about our business, doing floorset and junks, and a little while later, he came in.

I was behind the counter, and Star was all, "Psst! Anna! He's coming in!!!"

I was kind of apprehensive about this...I mean, I had been doing floorset all day and I didn't really feel up to dealing with another crazy...but he came right up to the counter that I was standing behind, and he looks right at me, all fidgety and twitchy, and he goes, "You look to be about 19 years old, right?"

I busted out laughing, because he guessed it right. Star was laughing too, over from the sidelines where it was safe. "That's exactly right," I affirmed.

"See, I know these things. I can just tell how old someone is," he said, kind of proud and still timid at the same time.

"Oh," I said.

"My name is Sonic-Pikachu," he said, "but you can call me Sonichu. I'm Sonic W. Pikachu."

"Oh," I said. "Hi, Sonichu."

"So," he continued, "Do angels have names?" (I found out later that he meant to say do angels like you have names...poor guy was so nervous he didn't get it right)

"Probably," I said, "but I don't know."

"Well, what's your name?" he asked.

"Sorry, I don't go for pick-up lines," I replied, kind of laughing.

His face kind of fell and I felt sorry for him, but he pressed on. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you, I was just asking your name. So what is your name?"

"Anna."

"Oh, that's a very pretty name. And I like your hair, it's a very pretty color. My eyes are two different colors, one of them is green and the other is blue, that's because I had pink-eye a while back and one of them stayed that way. What color are your eyes?"

I was pretty grossed out by the pink-eye story, but I told him anyway. "Sometimes blue, sometimes green, and usually gray."

"Oh, that's neat. It's funny how that happens, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said.

"So do you want to, you know, go get some ice cream when you get off work?" he asked.

"No, I just ate," I said, "And I'm still pretty full. Plus I'm getting off soon."

"Okay, well, Anna, is there any way I could, um, get your phone number, and maybe I could give you a call sometime?"

"No."

"Ah. Well, do you want my phone number, then? You can call me on my cellphone."

"No thanks," I said.

He wasn't to be deterred. "So, um, so do you have a boyfriend, Anna?"

"No," I said.

"Oh!" he said, brightening, and started to say something else, but I cut in.

"I'm not looking for one, though," I said.

His face fell again, but this time I felt no pity. "All right," he said, fidgeting, "Well, um, do you have access to the internet?"

I nodded.

"'Kay...hold on one second. I'll be right back."

I nodded, and he went back to his "spot" where he kept his two tote bags and his Sam's Club cup. I turned to Star and she was all, "Dude he is so weird!" and I was like, "I know! Make it stop!"

He started to come back in, and I was like, "Um...I have to...go in the back...and get a drink of water..." but Star shook her head. I had to finish what I'd started.

So Sonichu came back, and handed me a card with a crudely drawn Sonic the Hedgehog and some other yellow Sonic-looking creature on it, along with Sonichu's name, email address, and website. It was a homemade business card. "That's my email address, and you can just email me sometime, okay?"

"Okay," I said, not intending to email him at all.

He left the store, packed up his things, and went. His work for the day was done.

GUNSHOTS AT THE FONTAINE AVENUE CORRAL



This one was on the news, as was I. Man, was I ever washed out...never go on camera without makeup, it makes you even whiter than you already are. I'm suing my agent over that.


I was at home, on the couch, watching Saturday Night Live. It was the infamous Ashlee Reflux episode, NOT A RERUN. So I was watching her screw up, and it was funny, and then they went on to the sketch comedy, and Will Farrell, a personal acquaintance of mine, just kidding, was saying something. Just then, I heard several gunshots in rapid succession, and they sounded hella close. Now I mos def don't live in a ghetto neighborhood, so hearing gunshots is kind of a big deal. Especially at 12:30 in the morning, when nobody's out hunting. I listened for a while longer, but there weren't any more, so I went back to watching SNL, but I made sure the doors were locked and the curtains were closed. A few minutes later, I heard police sirens.

As it turned out, the shooting was from a guy who was trying to break into somebody's house. The homeowner called the police, and he ran, and the cops chased him, and I guess they sic'd their cop dog on him, and he shot it, (it died) and then the cops started shooting at him. They got him, and that's all I know. He went to the hospital and got fixed up and taken to jail.

This all happened on Resevoir Road. It's off of Fontaine Avenue, and you can see it from my house. Way too close for comfort. Good times.

CREEPY MOLESTER DUDE




Dude, most of these stories happen at the mall! It's weird. They should call it Fashion Square Asylum.

This happened a few months ago. There was this guy who always came in to all the stores to scope out the chicks. He had a nice little sequence down, where he'd hit American Eagle, then go across to Abercombie, come back and hit us at Pac Sun, then go over to J. Crew. I don't know where he went after that. Maybe he vanished into thin air, or got sucked back into the ground. Anyways, he'd always come into Pac Sun looking for Lin Lin. Lin Lin, who is not Asian, probably didn't appreciate Molester Dude doing what he did, but he didn't care about that. He wanted to meet his weekly quota. So he'd come in to scope out the female workers, always looking for Lin Lin especially, and he'd look at our boobs and our butts when he thought we weren't watching.

But there was always someone watching.

I think it was his eyebrows that set me off, because of how they're set on his face. They just make him look like a bad guy. This was before I knew that he was the guy the rest of them had been telling me about. So when I first saw him, I kept an eye on him, and he would just sneak around the store, pretending to look at the merchandise but never buying anything. But he'd keep glancing over at us, and if one of us happened to bend down for a minute, his eyes would be drawn to the offered posterior like a magnet.

After I found out that it was him (I think it was Paws who told me), I decided I'd test him and try to catch him in the act. So I picked a time when Paws and Star were in the back of the store, so that I was the only one near him, and I did the whole "oh look, I dropped something on the floor, oh wait, that was already there, silly me" thing. As I straightened back up from the "bend and snap", I saw him quickly look away. Very sneaky, but not quick enough. This kid was busted. I started to walk towards him, and he left in a hurry. I decided to bide my time, and talk to him later.

Later came, and it was like the next week when he showed up again. He came in, made his rounds, and as soon as he left, I took off my nametag and went after him. I can't remember who I was working with that day...I think it might have been Star and Smoky. So anyways, I went up to him, and as soon as he saw me, he started walking in circles trying to lose me. I was like, "hey, can I ask you a question?" and he kept looking at me out of the corners of his eyes, and walking really fast in circles and loop-de-loops, trying to get me to stop following him. He goes, "yeah," but he won't stop walking away. He heads towards Chick-Fil-A and I ask him, "Why do you come in and look at our boobs and stuff?" and he gets all flustered and he's like, "I don't!" but he's not making eye contact and he's still trying to escape. So I was like, "Well, the next time you come into Pac Sun, can you please buy something?" and he said yes, but it was obvious he wasn't planning on coming back. I thanked him and stopped following him, and he booked it off into the sunset.

There you go.

Now for a little update: Creepy Molester Dude has been spotted roaming the mall again lately. He has yet to come into Pac Sun, but who knows. I was coming back from Aero when I saw him the other day, and when he saw me he looked shocked and frightened, and turned his face towards the wall and started walking faster. It just goes to show you that crazy people can remember stuff just as well as normal people can.

THE WET SEAL HECKLER




This one's a short one, too. It's me and Spoony again.


We were just hanging out at the mall, me and Spoony were. We went into Wet Seal, and this kind of big black guy comes up and asks Spoony, "Hey, you got a man?" Spoony starts laughing in the guy's face, and I'm laughing right with her, because he can't be serious, right? But he is serious, and he goes, "Nah, really, you got a man?" I can't remember what Spoony said at this point, but I think it was something along the lines of "Ew!"

So we left the store because they didn't have anything we wanted and the guy follows us out partway, and he's saying stuff as we walk away that we can't really understand, but we're laughing really loud and I think he was insulted. So what? He shouldn't have been asking Spoony if she had a man. I mean, does she look like his type? Does anyone look like his type? Okay, story's over.

Pardon the incorrect grammar, I didn't feel like saying stuff right in this one. Perhaps to make it more colorful. Cookies??

Spoony you know who you are and if I got this story wrong at all tell me and I'll fix it, lover. This applies to anyone who's in any of these stories I put up here...If you were involved in any way, and you remember something that I didn't, or if I said something wrong, let me know, because you know how crap my memory is.

Friday, February 4, 2005

KILLTOWER 1, 2




KILLTOWER 1

There's this cool place on Water Street. It's at the very end, and it's right where the road curves left. If you keep going straight, you go onto a dirt road, and right at the beginning of that dirt road is a weird tower thing. I think it was for coal or something, because it's right next to the railroad tracks. Anyways, it's kind of abandoned, meaning there's graffiti all over it and sketchiness surrounding it. The reason this story is called "Killtower" is because a couple people got shot and killed there when a crazy guy who had been living in there came out for drugs. I didn't know all this the first time I went there, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have stopped me from going anyway. On to the story, though.

So I was exploring Charlottesville, as I often do when I'm broke. This was my first time in this particular part of town. As I reached the end of Water Street, I was excited to see an abandoned building up ahead, and a dirt road leading straight up to it. It was nice and sunny that day, and unseasonably warm, meaning 72 degrees in the middle of winter. I pulled up to the structure and parked the Kia in front of it.

I got out of the car, locking the door and slipping my keys and cellphone into my pocket. A word to the wise: Cellphones are great to have with you, especially when you're checking out a sketchy place by yourself. It's also a good idea to have your keys with you, instead of locked in your car. So any-hoo, I went traipsing around the structure, checking out all the cool graffiti and junks. There was some scary stuff, and some gross stuff, but for the most part it was just cool. There was a spot around the corner where there were a bunch of trash bags piled up in a nook, and it was pretty obvious it was used as a bed at one point, if not still so. I went to the edge of the hill behind the tower to see what was down below, and there wasn't anything interesting, but I stood there and looked anyhow. All of a sudden, my foot went through the ground and into a hole.

This did not scare me. For some reason, I wasn't even that startled. I mean, it was a deep hole, and it went right off the side of the steep hill, and it could have been bad, but it wasn't. So I took a picture of the hole and moved on. So no, the foot going through the hole didn't scare me...oh no. It was the tree that I glanced at on the way back to my car. I looked over to my left as I walked back, and I saw a tree, and it scared me. I didn't even think it was a person, I thought it was a tree. Which it was. But it still scared me. I have no idea why. So maybe I have treephobia and birdphobia all together now. So yeah, then I left. There's Killtower 1.

KILLTOWER 2

This Killtower story is boring. In fact, it's not even a story--I'm just telling you something. So here it is:

I went back to Killtower to show my friend who we'll lovingly call Cheddar. She didn't like it because it was sketchy; I didn't like it because there were two guys hanging around there this time. They had bikes sitting out in front of the tower, and they both looked to be in their 20's, and up to no good. We didn't get out of the car for this one, and we left as soon as the tall skinny guy started walking kind of fast up to the Kia with a growly kind of look on his face. Don't ask me to describe what a growly face looks like, because I can't. So there's the second story, sorry to disappoint.